What do I want from Me?

It is finally evident that I have gotten one of my goals completed. One would hope that by the time they reached 21 they might have accomplished at least one thing and I can finally say that I have: no longer living in the home of my parental units. Yes, I did mention this in my previous post but I just feel that I ought to write out my future goals in sequence of how I wish for them to occur:

1) Complete my Anthropology Major and Geography Minor (yes, I realize this is a "duh" type thing since I'm pretty well there, but some people just end up giving up and I am hoping I won't find myself doing that)

2) Find a career that at least touches on some aspect of what I will have spent 5 years in post-secondary education learning (I need this considering I know someone who just graduated in my major and he is now training to be a paramedic, do I have any hope? I certainly do but for that hope to actually become something tangible may be another matter)

3) Travel with this career (I spent most of my up-bringing spending the longest of 3 years in one place. Now that I have lived in Victoria for the past 8 years :'( I feel very restless and I need to just go... go as in just book a flight to anywhere and get on with it with no plan other than going, going, going)

4) Be happy (So I know this should probably be higher in the list, but to be realistic, how is it fun to be stressed out of one's mind trying to figure out what they'll do for the rest of their life? That's a lot of pressure set on one person with so many options in the world. By the point of accomplishing my first 3 goals, I am hoping this will make me happy and that I can genuinly not feel like running away from everything... although Goal 3 is technically me running away, but running away WITH something)

5) Experience life to the fullest (I honestly have no clue what exactly this means because I doubt anyone has actually succeeded in doing so. But trying is something that can be done and if I'm having fun, being happy, and taking into consideration how lucky I am to know the people I know and having been the places I've been (and will go) I can build myself up and figure out all the goods and bads this world has to offer)

6) If it's out there for me: A Long-Term Love (Ok, do not call me a sap because this (at this stage in my life) is further down on the list and not one of my priorities right now. Of course it's always on my mind, but I'm sick of wondering "who will I end up with?" I want to be able to live now and feel now and if something happens with someone who's willing to be with me and wanting to be with me then so be it! I'm not a downer on love but I'm not going to write an entire novel about it either)

7) Have myself a little bumpkin (This is interchangeable with Goal 6 as I do not necessarily need to have the ideal "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage". I feel that if I at least had a little one they could disown me less easily than a spouse or significant other. Pathetic sounding, perhaps, but it's true. And as much as my co-workers enjoy calling me "Baby-hater" I have a secret: I love babies and children... they also disgust me, but the thought of raising my own and trying to give another person opportunities to figure themselves out and learn and hopefully generate an all around decent human being sounds like the coolest thing ever)

8) Die young (Yeah, hush, I have a deal with a girlfriend. In all seriousness though, I do not ever want to get to the point I can't go to the toilet by myself and I would rather people remember me as a crazy person or a bitch than a crazy bitch who couldn't control her bladder or bowel movements at the very bitter end)

Mhmm

Whoa... I've changed locations!

End of term, how LOVELY!

Ok, so I'm not out of the clear just yet, but you know, there's only about 3 more papers left to write and 2 exams to jump on and scream "This is SPARTAAAAAAA".
*sigh* I for sure failed tonight- or rather, yesterday evening's -osteology exam. Trust me. When I state that I have failed something, I have legitimately failed it and I just have those spidey senses attached to failure, and I know it's terrible, but... I know me.

Anyways, I won't dwell because the course is offered on steroids during summer! In other words it's a fucktonne of information crammed into one month as opposed to 3 months, holy mother of God, I HOPE I PASSED :S

I guess I ought to tell you that at this precise moment I am standing in a room with low ceilings, interestingly crooked design, with boxes, clothing, and other random crap strewn all about.
'Why?' you might ask, well TADA! I no longer live with my parents! Instead I am now living in a basement suite with my darling Joe-bro (aka Hosephekina) and Jamesy (aka Ali's older brother).

This will be an interesting experience:
a) because my multiple High-interest No-fee Savings Accounts all pretty well say $0.00 and it's only been 3 days
b) because I am getting my wish of not having to live with crazy, emotional, psychotic girls
c) but at the same time I am now living with two boys (who by the way if you ever read this then I am telling you now, don't make a mess or I'ma dump it on your bed while you're sleeping!)
d) because I will probably end up getting sick of eating just pasta, otherwise I will have to start learning how to cook :S oh my
e) .... I'm just too tired to go on, but w/e there's a pub around the corner :)

Alrighty then... what else, what else?
Really, there's nothing?

I found out I own a lot of junk..
I HAVE PENGUIN CUPS AND MUGS! They finally get to be used after years of chilling in the Narnia of my jump the bump closet.

Also, for the month of December I allowed my employers to schedule me for graveyard shifts. So now I show up for work all zombified in the infant's department in Walmart from 11pm-7am. On my first shift I arrived feeling the effects of Mary Jane and sat down in the diaper aisle to chat it up w/ my drunk friend on my cellphone.
GOOD EFFICIENT & PRODUCTIVE TIMES!

Since it is about 2:50am I believe I have enough reason to complete my room arranging so that I can clear the crap off my bed and sleep!
Hopefully by the time I wake up, Joe will be off his night shift and we can go buy cheap, interesting art to fill the crusty walls of our new home and make the place look less crusty, empty and junky.

Good morning to all! And good night to moi!

The Tale of Prince Beau and the Raccoon:

Once upon a time, a valiant young cat named Prince Beau set out into the dark night in search of the high mouse sorceress named Medea. The journey would have taken less than 20 prances had it not been for the evil Count Raccoonzo, his arch nemesis!

Prince Beau had watched Count Raccoonzo reek havoc across his kingdom for years from the bay window in the dining quarters. It was his desire to strike him down if ever the encounter took place. So on this fateful night the two engaged in vicious combat.

For minutes the struggle continued until Prince Beau let out an ear-splitting MEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! Then... there was silence. At this time the high mouse sorceress, Medea crept from the shadows to find Prince Beau fallen to the ground and the striped tail of Count Raccoonzo retreat into the distant shrubbery. As she came upon Prince Beau she found he was not dead, but alive, with a gash splitting his left ear down the middle.

Count Raccoonzo never returned but since that night, Prince Beau continues to watch from the bay window and when chance permits he prances around the grounds of his kingdom in search of any trace of Count Raccoonzo, forever with his ear as a reminder of the battle of that night, so long ago.

The End

I am so scared...
Beau got out while I was literally taking care of his shit and when I tried to pick him up, he hissed at me.
Anyshwaz, if you don't hear from me again, it's because Beau has murdered me.... I offered a sacrifice of canned tuna, so pray I'm still alive by mornin.

Human Osteology, Pomegranate Juice, & Tuna Dining

Oh Internet!

How wonderfully distracting you are!

At this moment and for all of tomorrow I am supposed to be studying for Human Osteology (yes I realize that is a link to Forensic Anth) which is quite literally pummelling me into oblivion. But of course I had to click that little orange fox circling the globe... *disappointed sigh*.

So what has been so distracting (besides what I am now doing w/ blogger)? Marathoning the TV series Dead Like Me. I believe my already depressed state is being encouraged further w/ choices such as these, but whateva, I kinda really don't care anymore. Well that's a lie, but I'm close enough that Present Ashley is always screwing Future Ashley over.

My other wise choice for this evening was deciding that pomegranate was a great addition to tonight's craptastic soggy omelet tortilla dinner. Now, my computer screen and keys are lookin' pretty gnarly, almost as if Dexter has visited and not cleaned up.

On to the Tuna Dining portion of this evening...

After successfully avoiding true studying with a shower, marathoning, cooking and eating a passable dinner and cleaning up all the tools, I then decided to pamper Prince Beau (He's back!).

I cleaned both his water and food bowl and then started singing about how awesome his awesome tuna treat was going to be. I am quite certain he loved it probably because he knew tuna was in his stomach's near future. But I'm quite certain he still hates me for singing because every time I do, he gives me the scary death-by-cat glare that I really should be frightened of but continue to defy him anyways.

Anyshwahz I ought to actually study if I am expecting to pass this class at all.

So Done

What is the point of trying if we're all just going to die anyways?

It's not like it's going to matter when you're just a corpse in the ground or ashes thrown to the wind.

Pardon the negative drain here but death is definitely an imminent sector of life and hitting very close to home for me right now.

Perhaps things will make sense in the morning, but for now I think it may just be easier to keep floating and pretending that every one is peachy and life is peachy and the whole idea of going to university may actually help me when I end up in a peachy job that I won't want to be doing. Turning into a high class escort is certainly something which I feel may be the best thing to ever happen to a person: some twisted form of self-worth or a crazy doodle making you do what you're not actually wanting to do.

Phooooey, I'll go write my amazingly craptastic lab and papers :/

A la Awkward Moments Girl (My friend irl & blogger)

In aiding procrastination... List:

Hearing stories about my Grandma when she was just known as Mom

Getting OUT of hospitals


Old friends

Volunteering in the bone lab

Volunteering at the Royal BC Museum

Drinking water

Getting homework did (I know, I know)

Being flirted with

Gorgeous eye candy

Getting over migraines

Smelling the mix of rain and earth

Feeling loved and wanted

Talking with m'girls

Sleeping

Being happy

Awesome lectures

Watching movies with friends

Walking around in town in the middle of the night

Soft, fluffy things (pillows, beds, dogs, cats)

Knowing I won't always be where I am right now

Family

Traveling

Writing

Sweetest Desire

I think I'm ready to run for the hills
Wander
And never return

There's no binding factor keeping me here
Thus now
My heart is fleeting

If my heart goes, my body will follow
World wide
Is where it shall be

No burdens, no worries, just thoughts and me
Sleep now
And dream quietly

Inspiration: Earl, volunteering, geography class, meeting new people, realizing no one person can ever be perminent to you

Great Day, Late Night

Dear Interwebs,

I am le tired.

Today (or yesterday now) was the kind of day that boosted my mood and level of happiness to a point of me feeling so completely satisfied, whole, and just straight up overflowing with happiness that it may have made some people believe I was on some sort of halucinagen. In all it was the best day, click HERE to read about it.

By the end of the night I was on the later bus so I had to wait around 20mins for my transfer bus.

After boarding the bus, the driver sat around for a few moments and quite the character came along.

This old woman, around 4'9" (~1.5m), rolled up in her Winners (I recognized it as I worked at Winners/Homesense for nearly 3 yrs) buggy which was cloaked in layers of salvaged plastic bags. On the grip were 2 reusable bags. She proceeded to empty her cart full of plastic bottle bags onto the bus.

For the next 7 minutes she continued to load her findings of the day onto the one half of the bus. It was already 5 minutes past the departure time but she casually continued to tackle the buggy. An impatient passenger continuously yanked on the stop request line, which was fair enough since I too just wanted to get home before midnight had to role around as a reminder of how little sleep I was to get this evening... morning, whatever!

The bus driver also became impatient and started pulling forward as a clear indicator that it was time to get going. The woman demolished the last few bags, erasing the fact that she had ever held the handle on the buggy.

My, my it is way late and I will be up in a few hours for volunteering and school, so I guess.... Oh! One more story!

Dream of Last Sleep:

Previous to this one I had dreamt of my friend and co-worker and since I had told her of said dream and received an amused text I apparently had to dream once more about her and one of my other good friends.

It began with the good friend (TG) in her vintage attire sipping chamaign with an elegant rock on her ring finger. Next to her stood a tall, lanky young man (whom I had seen, but have never seen before, on the bus) with a nerdy air about him in the sense of being super intelligent!

TG floated over to me with a great big smile on her face and said how she was glad I could make it to the engagement party. I told her I was happy if she was and that I never would have matched her to end up with buddy, there. She giggled and disappeared to the other side of the wall.

When I rounded the corner to follow her I found that in her stead was the friend/co-worker (AN). Her usual style is pretty typical of a trendy, casual 19 yr old, however, instead of such garb upon her petite frame, she wore a long-sleeved blue collared shirt (clearly sized for a man) and some under-the-boob HIGH waist pants held up by a thin black belt. AN has a joker-personality to her and can make anyone laugh no matter what she says or the faces she makes, so I couldn't help laughing when I saw her this way. She then looked at me and asked why I laughed. "Well, you look very.... uh.... different than what I'm used to seeing you look like," I replied. She stared at me with an unimpressed look on her face but I continued to laugh. She then sternly said to me, "This is who I am meant to be with. No body understands me, but this is how I've always wanted to look like. Maybe you shouldn't come to the wedding after all."

Oh dear, I woke up quite confused and would have enjoyed a good side-stitch of laughter but again, my life is continuously rolling and I am currently setting myself up to roll out of bed tomorrow looking like a zombified college student... oh, right, I already am.

Nighty Morning,
Ashrreeeeeee

SkooooooL

Yes Interwebs, it has begun, yet again!

What's up with that, right?

I am beyond excited because I am officially in 5 classes, one of them being the only one I REALLY wanted to be accepted into (dum da da dum!!!!): Human Osteology!!! *woot* *dances around*

So Frack YEEEEAH!!!! Now the course load will involve a lot more evenings of me dieing over papers, labs and readings, but you know what? I am fine with that!

...

Ok, I lied, not fine with that, but right now nothing is killing my "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!" So jog on!

It'll be a new kind of semester for me: My duet partner to Air Supply's "All Out of Love" will be attending school at the University of Exeter while I continue to rot away at the University of Victoria :( wah.... alright it's not THAT bad.

I will still have my friends within our main group and some old HS friends and Walmartians to get into random shenanigans with but it will still feel different!

On top of the school work I will also be working, and on top of those two together I will be volunteering both at the Royal BC Museum and at the school with one of my Profs!

Oh... I forgot to mention I will still commuting from the depths of Nowheresville to Victoria... so 2 hours one way... How I cannot wait for the nodding off to sleep on the bus moments... Yay life :/

Now off to not sleep and continue screwing with my system! YAY!