Dear Interweb,
Whoa is me...
I think I have become over dramatized thanks to all the TV shows I've been watching (the latest = How I Met Your Mother).
So I have been thinking a lot. I have been avoiding my homework. And I have been wondering whether I want to go into the future (and when I say future I don't mean two seconds from now, 2 weeks from now, nor 3 months from now, I mean life-altering events to shift my life in some way extremely!) at all.
Things that are now don't really last... ever... Like a friendship for example... you may be able to stop hanging out with someone and find yourself with them a couple years later and have it still be the same, but friendship, I have found, is never really a constant. Friendship is there always but the strength of it and the accessibility is never really a sure thing... or like I've said, constant.
My heart is a little heavy. I do not know whether what I want is still the same for one relationship I have. The other still feels the same but it's scary to me now. I do not think I want attachments so young in my life, but at the same time I'm afraid that if I let go there will be nothing for me at all when everyone else finds their One. So what do I do?
I'm not really sure and I just wish that things would cease to impress upon my mind their heavy loads when I'm already immersed in school and all that homework gunk... And right now I feel very sideways...
Not much sleep, days spent just watching the box, and barely interacting with people whom I have relationships of any sort.
Bahhhhhh. I wish I could drop what I'm doing indefinitely and go somewhere else for a time. Like Europe, Eurasia, or just anywhere not in the spot I am currently sitting.
This is also serving as another procrastination for the assignment I have due this Tuesday... it seems so easy! And should be but I'm placing it on a giant pedestal of Omfg-that-will-take-time.
I wish life could just be some fantastic movie script that never seems to end.
I think that I have actually decided though that I just hate those movie script endings that leave you wanting more because I like to play on my "fanfiction" brain and continue the story. I hate it because it lures me away from reality and when I've finally finished or found no where else to go with my imagining, I am left with the sad reality that I have nothing going on in my life (other than school) that keeps me grounded!
How wonderful it would be to just forget who I am and become someone else... beautiful and attractive perhaps? That would be fantabulous.
*sigh*sigh*sigh*
Well, back to reality and homework and my current bored-to-tears state of mind and state of life.
Good evening,
... Happily Ever After
